Bonham has never come into our room to get me. Ever. If he wakes up at night and needs me, he call for me. When he gets up in the morning, he calls for me. He has gone through phases where he will come get me in the morning, but never at night.
In our old house I could hear him from our room. I hadn't gotten rid of the monitor yet, but I was feeling like I could and should...but then we moved. We live in a smaller place overall, but the placement of our rooms makes it so I cannot hear him...unless it is 100% silent and he screams.
That might be ok. I mean, if he really needs me, he will scream. But....it's not really the middle of the night that comes to mind. Right now the monitor allows me to hear him even when we are in our room with the TV on. If I take away the monitor and he calls and I don't hear him, then eventually he will start just coming into our room to get me. Do I want this? Right now we live in pretty much certainty that the "pop in" visit will not happen.
Another obstacle is potty training. Yes, Bonham still wears a pull up at night. Look, please don't judge me or tell me I suck. Bonham potty trained early....by 2 1/2, at least with pee....poop was a longer process. We didn't even attempt night at that time. I kind of thought a time would naturally come when his pull up was dry in the morning and we would try then. But that hasn't happened. He refuses to get up and go on his own at night. So, I have told him that starting now anytime he calls me in at night (he sometimes has bad dreams or whatever. He's just never been a great sleeper and sometimes he calls me in...anyway agin, don't judge) that we will go potty while I am in there. And I have said he call ask to go potty anytime and I will take him (which makes me cry....the thought if increasing my night trips to his room rather than decrease...oh god!) So....these lead me to think we need to keep the monitor.
But honestly I feel like a jackass for still using/having one. Btw, ours is usually set so low that I barely hear him over it. So I'm not like listening to him breath or sleep or anything. It just helps make it so he can call to me without screaming.
Am I the only one out there with a monitor in their 5 year old's room? I almost want to give him a walkie talkie to just call me when he needs me...seems more age appropriate. Anyway....let me hear your thoughts. Be gentle with me....
14 comments:
There's nothing "wrong" with still using the monitor... fact of the matter is, eventually you will have to stop using it, and if it's coming to a point where you're feeling uncomfortable with it, why not have that time be now? he'll come get you if he needs something, and locks on your door are made to make sure he won't come in at inopportune times ;) as for the night time diaper, we had graham do that for awhile, but he was dependent on it until we just took it away. as you can guess, there were accidents at first, but now only once a month-ish. Good luck!
William and Paige sleep upstairs... Our bedroom is down. And since we have the same "don't get out of bed" rule, I STILL keep a monitor in both rooms. AND WILLIAM IS SEVEN!!
I hope this makes you feel better : )
If you don't want to have the monitor, I think that if you take it away he will come get you when he needs you. But if it is convenient to have the monitor, I think it's fine to keep it in his room. No judgment here!
We have taught Ella to come upstairs if she needs us in the night (we are 1.5 flights up from her and were sick of running down the stairs and my husband hates the baby monitor!). She never comes up in the evening hours, it's only in the middle of the night if she needs something and only rarely. She also potty trained early, but night trained late. Do you ever take him to pee right before you go to bed? That's what I did with her at first, and she would usually make it until morning. I also just took away the pull-ups and dealt with the accidents for a while. They make "pee pad" sheet protectors so you don't have to do a full-on sheet change in the night. Make sure when he has an accident, you don't say anything negative (of course, but it's hard in the middle of the night ;)) and you have him change himself. I think he will get sick of it and take himself to the potty if he has to go. Good luck!
If you wouldn't be able to hear him call you in your house, I think it is fine to keep the monitor. I have an almost 5 year old who is WAY too comfortable coming to our room and getting into bed with us. I agree with a couple of others posters though, that you should probably quit using the pull-ups and deal with a few accidents. I'll bet it won't take him long to figure it out.
You could appeal to his age-appropriate desire for independence and self-sufficiency. Those things come naturally at that age. Tell him what you would like to see him achieve during the night, and tell him exactly he can earn his night time belt (Karate-style belt, that is!). Ask him what he thinks he could do to practice to earn his belt. I bet you he can think of excellent ideas, and when they are his ideas you will probably see him embrace the challenge. This is a great, fun age. You're doing great!
Do what works for you, really, if its not bothering you or him then don't take it out just cause he is 5...I don't think its an invasion of privacy at all so I would wait until he asks for it to be out...do you know any 14 years olds with baby monitors? It will happen naturally, don't stress. And as for the pull-ups...it finally happened for us this summer. You know how old he is and the Dr. kept telling us not to worry, it would happen naturally when he was ready, and it totally did. You know I feel ya sister! :)
Whatever gets you through, it's tough when the kids are young, use whatever you can and don't feel guilty. One thing I've learned after 14 years of parenting is: I don't know nuttin.
I'll never forget what my ante-natal teacher said about monitor's: you should switch them around so that the baby can hear you. That is what the baby needs and wants; to hear your voice and presence. I never used one with all three kids even when my first was down a long hallway in a big house well away from us. When they really need you, they will scream loud enough for you to hear them. I go back and forth about thinking we need one but our eldest girl is the best sleeper in the house and I reckon it's because we let her learn how to fall asleep on her own. I'm a softy now in my old age and our baby girl of 9 months comes into bed with us to cuddle almost every night/early morning. I don't think I am doing myself any favors with that one!
nothing wrong with using a monitor. hey, i plan on inserting computer gps chips into my children around the time they hit their teens. so, a monitor at five, no problem. we just finished with nightime pull-ups with my daughter, and honestly, we didn't have a trick to it or anything it just happened. we were out of pull-ups one night so i just told her to get up if she has to go and by some miracle, she didn't wet her bed. sometimes it just takes asking them...HOWEVER, i had asked her in the past and it didn't happen. i'ts all on their schedule.
Have you ever read the Bedwetter by Sarah Silverman? She had a really interesting (read: traumatizing) experience with bedwetting till a very late age.
My BoyChild is 9 now and I sometimes wish we had a monitor in his room. He plays in his room and talks to himself and I love to listen to him. Usually I can hear him but I can't always understand what he's saying.So keep that monitor as long as you want. I think we lost ours when the BoyChild got the scissors and went on a cutting spree and I didn't replace the cord.
Im late here. 1.) E just turned 5 and she is still in a pull up at night. Frankly I got tired of washing the sheets every morning. I asked the Doc and he said dont push it, she will do it when she is ready and I am fine with that. 2.) Our girls share a room and I still monitor them across the hall. I say do whatever works for you all. Kids can just all be so different!
Post a Comment